Vova in grade 1

 

Admission after a week, Vova boring school, not doing homework again, the female teacher asked why? Vova said, because the program is too low compared to his level and Vova ask her for secondary education.she leads Vova to the headmaster office to presented the story. Headmaster both believe and doubt, talk to the teacher that he would asked Vova some questions of science, and she will ask Vova about general knowledge, if Vova answer correctly he will be promoted..
After 1 hour of "torture" Vova with questions about science, Vova also answered correctly, headmaster very pleased and gave the teacher asked about general knowledge.
Teacher: - what have a big one and small one?Principal stunned.Vova: - Crabs.
Teacher: - What is in your pants, but I haven't?
Headmaster green face.
Vova: - Yes, 2 pockets..
Teacher: - where is the place, women have the most curly hairy?Headmaster shaking.Vova: - Yes, in Africa.
Teacher: - What I have between my two legs?Headmaster was dumbfounded.Vova: - Yes the knee.
Teacher: - What is always wet on me??
principal gasped.
Vova: - it is the tongue.
Teacher: - What is it soft but harder into my hands for a while?
principal did not dare look at  teacher.
Vova: - nail polish.
Teacher: - What is it long like a banana, I took a moment it flowing water?
principal nearly fainted .
Vova: - the cream.
 
Headmaster sweat beads, motioned teachers do not ask again and told Vova:
- I let you ... go straight to college, I ... answer no questions at all!?
 
Vova: -?!!!

Comparison uncle

Natasha, Anto and Vova talk to each other..
- My uncle is a teacher, so people called him "Teacher". Natasha said
- Anto continued - My uncle better than, he is priest, he is called "Daddy or father".
- finally, Vova said - My uncle is the best, saw him from a distance, people say "oh god"!  
- What does he do? - Natasha and Anto in unison
- He is ... "The bully"!!!

Thrive

Vova into his parents' room and knocked on the door, and saw them are xxx.
- What are you doing? - He asked.
- Well - his mother replied after a moment confused - I was sitting on Dad's stomach to small it down.
- Inutile - Vova shook her head - her neighbors tomorrow to blow it up
-?!!

Visit the situation

Upon arrival, the accident occurred: a worker fell from the fourth floor of the newly built house. After the visit, the teacher focuses the students to draw lessons from this case:
- According to you, why the worker from fell?
Masa hand up:
- Dear teacher, because he does not comply with labor safety rules.
- Maybe so, anyone have any other ideas?
Kolia:
- Ladies, maybe he has a cold.
- Not exclude this possibility. Vova, what do you think?
- he fell because berated me!
- So what?
- he shouted: the other guy, do not shake the ladder!

Vova practice draw

Vova's father was a teacher invited to the meeting.All over his body plastered bandages and wearing a skirt, has trudged into the class, he had heard her mention the child:
- You see this! Vova draw flies on nails on the teacher's desk.I beat one, and bleeding hands.
- Oh dear! That leaves gently. look at me, this is the result of his mother was painted on the pile of glass!
- Oh....! 

Contacts book

 

Vova complained to his sitting at the same table:
- Yesterday I was godfather hit 2 times.
- Why?
- The first time I gave him the contacts in which all the bad points and the teacher's line of felony mischief. The second was when hi realized that it was his old contact book.

Nonsense

During biological time, the woman teacher asked the students:
- Why are soles so slim?
Vova hand:
- Lady, because it was "on top" by whale!
The teacher could not control:
- out off the class, and do not back to class without your parents.
We continue the study. Anyone know, why the shrimp's eyes big and bulges?
Vova was out the door but still said:
- Lady, because the shrimp were also present in the side and saw it all.

When Vova not know think Rubbish

 
In a contest, "What do we know about women?" magazine's "Women" organization. The winner is 10-year-old, Vova

And this is a letter to the organizers from a candidate:
I knew a woman from the age of 18, I am 68 years old, so that the organizers claim that a child dick more women know about me?

Reply of the organizing committee:
In our first question: Where most women curly hair? (hair and coat with Russian general one), he correctly answered, "In Africa", did you reply, illustrator anymore?
Our second question: the most important parts of women? He correct answer is "Women's World", is how you replied, also illustrated again?
My third question offered: Women's monthly anxiously waiting for something? He answered correctly that "Women's Journal". As for yours, you replied? May you not illustrated!

Heard all of the candidates "understand women" was voted the most shocking essay of the year!

Vova's Story

Vova always sits with Natasa in the bus. One day, Vova plucked up the courage to take a piece of paper for Natasa, written on it:
"I love you, if you agree to make friends with me you bring back this piece of paper for me, and if you don't assent then throw it out the window,please."
A later Natasa moved to the old paper, Vova was pleased to open the view, written on it:
"Not open window".

Little Johnny Boy

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying.
- “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”.
- After a few seconds, Little Johnny stoop up.
- The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
- “No, I’m but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself”

Dreams

One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "Maybe you’ll find out tonight…," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled:"The Meaning of Dreams."

Flies

 

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband walking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

His military etiquette

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy
Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again.
Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, SIR!

Passing an exam

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will keep them for five more years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

You looked a lot like my wife

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

4 Keys to Radio Advertising

From the buy to the spot, get expert advice on how to run a successful radio ad campaign. 

In a single week, radio reaches more than 228 million Americans. That's 94 percent of everyone age 12 and older, according to Arbitron . So no matter what types of prospects you want to reach, radio advertising will help you do it. Plus, radio is mobile. Eighty percent of adults listen to radio in their cars, and a quarter of the population also listens while at work.
There's a lot that's new in radio. Many stations now stream their programming on the internet and reach additional local and even national audiences. What's more, if online listeners like what they hear in your streaming radio spot, they're just one click away from your website.
Radio provides an ideal advertising medium for small businesses, but running an effective campaign takes a bit of know-how. Just follow these four tips for navigating the radio waves.

Customer orientation

A firm in the market economy survives by producing goods that persons are willing and able to buy. Consequently, ascertaining consumer demand is vital for a firm's future viability and even existence as a going concern. Many companies today have a customer focus (or market orientation). This implies that the company focuses its activities and products on consumer demands. Generally, there are three ways of doing this: the customer-driven approach, the market change identification approach and the product innovation approach.
In the consumer-driven approach, consumer wants are the drivers of all strategic marketing decisions. No strategy is pursued until it passes the test of consumer research. Every aspect of a market offering, including the nature of the product itself, is driven by the needs of potential consumers. The starting point is always the consumer. The rationale for this approach is that there is no reason to spend R&D funds developing products that people will not buy. History attests to many products that were commercial failures in spite of being technological breakthroughs.
A formal approach to this customer-focused marketing is known as SIVA (Solution, Information, Value, Access). This system is basically the four Ps renamed and reworded to provide a customer focus. The SIVA Model provides a demand/customer-centric alternative to the well-known 4Ps supply side model (product, price, placement, promotion) of marketing management.

Marketing concepts

The marketing orientation evolved from earlier orientations, namely, the production orientation, the product orientation and the selling orientation.

Orientation	Profit driver	Western European timeframe	Description
Production	Production methods	until the 1950s	A firm focusing on a production orientation specializes in producing as much as possible of a given product or service. Thus, this signifies a firm exploiting economies of scale until the minimum efficient scale is reached. A production orientation may be deployed when a high demand for a product or service exists, coupled with a good certainty that consumer tastes will not rapidly alter (similar to the sales orientation).
Product	Quality of the product	until the 1960s	A firm employing a product orientation is chiefly concerned with the quality of its own product. A firm would also assume that as long as its product was of a high standard, people would buy and consume the product.
Selling	Selling methods	1950s and 1960s	A firm using a sales orientation focuses primarily on the selling/promotion of a particular product, and not determining new consumer desires as such. Consequently, this entails simply selling an already existing product, and using promotion techniques to attain the highest sales possible. Such an orientation may suit scenarios in which a firm holds dead stock, or otherwise sells a product that is in high demand, with little likelihood of changes in consumer tastes that would diminish demand.
Marketing	Needs and wants of customers	1970s to the present day	The 'marketing orientation' is perhaps the most common orientation used in contemporary marketing. It involves a firm essentially basing its marketing plans around the marketing concept, and thus supplying products to suit new consumer tastes. As an example, a firm would employ market research to gauge consumer desires, use R&D (research and development) to develop a product attuned to the revealed information, and then utilize promotion techniques to ensure persons know the product exists.
Holistic Marketing	Everything matters in marketing	21st century	The holistic marketing concept looks at marketing as a complex activity and acknowledges that everything matters in marketing - and that a broad and integrated perspective is necessary in developing, designing and implementing marketing programs and activities. The four components that characterize holistic marketing are relationship marketing, internal marketing, integrated marketing, and socially responsive marketing.

Contemporary approaches

Marketing

Marketing is the process of communicating the value of a product or service to customers. Marketing might sometimes be interpreted as the art of selling products, but selling is only a small fraction of marketing. As the term "Marketing" may replace "Advertising" it is the overall strategy and function of promoting a product or service to the customer.

From a societal point of view, marketing is the link between a society’s material requirements and its economic patterns of response. Marketing satisfies these needs and wants through exchange processes and building long term relationships. The process of communicating the value of a product or service through positioning to customers. Marketing can be looked at as an organizational function and a set of processes for creating, delivering and communicating value to customers, and managing customer relationships in ways that benefit the organization and its shareholders. Marketing is the science of choosing target markets through market analysis and market segmentation, as well as understanding consumer buying behavior and providing superior customer value.

There are five competing concepts under which organizations can choose to operate their business; the production concept, the product concept, the selling concept, the marketing concept, and the holistic marketing concept. The four components of holistic marketing are relationship marketing, internal marketing, integrated marketing, and socially responsive marketing. The set of engagements necessary for successful marketing management includes, capturing marketing insights, connecting with customers, building strong brands, shaping the market offerings, delivering and communicating value, creating long-term growth, and developing marketing strategies and plans.

According Wikipedia